Disclaimer: I claim absolutely no level of knowledge or skill in dealing with the opposite sex, or people in general. Read at your own risk and remember that only you can prevent forest fires - and your significant other walking out on you...


I went to the 24 Hour Fitness web site and read that I have to get to 170 pounds to not be considered "overweight" - heartless bastards! I have dropped from 230 to 200 and now I find out I need to get to 170 just to be borderline "overweight". Unfortunately I know there is some truth to this as I have independent medical verification. One way to deal with having high triglycerides is one of the many high protein, low carb diets. I've been on one for almost a year and it's one of those things I'll probably be sticking with for quite some time. A side effect of this whole thing is I have a greater understanding of how a woman thinks. Stand back sports fans, I'm about to share something with you... Yesterday, I scarfed a huge piece of cheese cake for lunch. Not exactly on the diet, but pretty damn good. I saw it in the fridge over the last couple of days and at first, ignored it, then the little bastard got into my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to have a slice of the creamy goodness that is cheese cake. So, when no one was around, I dove in and started to chow on it. About a third of the way through this sinful exercise I realized what I was doing was horribly, horribly wrong... about two thirds through it, I told myself to stop... when I was one bite away from the finish, the guilt descended on me like the plague... This had never happened to me before - guilty about eating? who'd a thunk it? Well, as I was washing all the evidence and putting it in the dishwasher, I realized that this is cheating... well, what passes for cheating for people on a diet... So guys, I'm here to tell ya - when you get caught with that other woman, you can just skip the flowers - it'll do no good. If you want any chance at all, you had better have some pictures of your significant other going to town on a big chunk of sugary delight.