When I'm not being me
When I listen to Mark Knopfler I can play guitar
When I listen to Rush I can play the drums
When I listen to Otis I can sing

When I listen to Thelonious Monk I wonder what the hell he was thinking
When I listen to Stevie Ray Vaughn I wonder what the hell Jimi would think
When I listen to Propellerheads I don't have to think

When I watch Tiger Woods I can golf
When I watch Miguel Tejada I can play short stop
When I watch Michael Jordan I know I can't play basketball

When I read JRR Tolkien I am a Hobbit
When I read JK Rowling I am a Muggle

When I watch Reservoir Dogs I am a bad ass
When I watch Ronin I am a bigger bad ass
When I watch Leon the Professional I'm a bad ass with an accent

When I see Steve McQueen I'm cool
When I see Gregory Peck I'm quiet cool
When I see James Bond I know I'd need a Q to be cool


When I read Sagen I think everyone is full of shit
When I watch the news I know everyone is full of shit and some of them are assholes
When I watch daytime TV I know that the assholes are stupid

When I listen to myself I can hear the echo
When I hear the echo it's very scary