I lead a life heavily influenced by luck and coincidence.

We run to the BART train to get back to work after a meeting and just as the train is taking off, two girls get on and sit in the seat behind us. Halfway through our conversation, Greg still doesn’t believe I’m talking to my niece from Boise.

It’s a quick conversation as we’re only going one stop and I’ll probably not see her again for several years. Amber, if you’re reading this you should send Mark a letter.

It’s our turn in the barrel
John Stamos is pitching a phone service while Tears for Fears is playing in the background. In another ad, ALF is pushing long distance for a buck.

Advertisers hit two main demographics: people wealthy enough to buy what they sell or the easy mark – young people.

So why the 80’s trivia into advertising? Bad news cheese, we’ve gotten to the point where we should have “figured it out”. There was a slice of time when you were pretty much off the radar. Well buddy, them days is over.

Living over our heads with no visible means of support (other than fully laden credit cards) with cinder block furniture and an empty fridge should have morphed into a responsible job, the desire for a really comfortable chair to watch the big TV with the sound system.

You’re expected to be successful now and you’re back in the sights of the evil ad geniuses. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t ready yet, they are coming for you. ALF and John Stamos are only the entry wound.

So, how are you doing? Are you ready to be the target of an Oldsmobile ad? How about an ad for medication? Your very own acre in California Pines? It’s a long slow slide and Madison Avenue is ready to grease the skids all the way. Get smart, skip it all. Invest wisely in diamonds and retire wealthy.

Yeah, right.

It’s rerun season and I’m happy
I’m watching the Bernie Mac show and laughing my ass off.

Horribly, horribly wrong.
I’m watching “House Hunter” tonight. I’m sure you’ve never seen it because it really sucks. It’s a show that follows around a real estate agent and a homebuyer and you can tell how long you have been watching it by counting the number of times the agent says “Why don’t we go look at…”. The math is simple – they say it about 5 times per minute. Bad dialogue is one thing, and I’ve watched enough “Action” movies to be somewhat immune. I have one huge problem with this show – unattractive people.

It’s TV – unattractive people should sit home and watch it, not be on it. I see unattractive people all day long. Ugly isn’t a crime but it’s so damn common that it shouldn’t be called entertainment. For christsake, even if you aren’t a physical specimen at least dress nicely and comb your damn hair. It wouldn’t hurt to annunciate either.

Why broadcast mundane? Give me sexy. Sexy actors, actresses, spokesmodels, newscasters, even the chick on The Weather Channel better be hot or I’m flicking over to the news where our local weathercaster has the forehead of Frankenstein, but at least she dresses nicely.

What the world needs now...
Is a handy movie guide that will tell me how far into a movie I can go without missing anything important. Since I have Digital, there is always the problem of finding out too late that a movie on the fringe of my interest has already started. The range would be something like 45 minutes for "Matrix Reloaded" and absol-freaking-zero for "Mulholland Drive".

PTO
OK, so I've been on PTO (that's paid time off) for awhile and have recently become aware that there is a world outside of the cube I (too) rutinely inhabit. It's funny, I'm only taking the time off because my company is forcing the issue. And the more I take off, the more I don't want to come back...

I have a great tan (at least a great farmer's tan), am more relaxed and breezed through my workout today even though I haven't seen a gym in a week. I realize that my golf game needs some specific work, my kids are more fun than my co-workers (even Greg that blogger everyone drools over at Geese Aplenty), and my wife appreciates my being around - all that gets attention when I take work out of the picture. A priority restructuring is in order.