It’s true what they say about dogs – they take after their owners. My Golden Retriever named Bridget because of a weird thing she has going on with the hair on her nose (it’s kind of like a mini Mohawk). I need to clear something up right here and now – I did not name the dog. We have always picked up our dogs from the pound (Don’t be an asshole - Spay and Neuter) and Bridget came to us from the Animal Rescue Foundation… anyway, the dog got into it with a Skunk. She’s tied up in the back yard tonight and won’t be coming back into the house until the smell goes away. Giovanna was upset her bed buddy wouldn’t be with her but waxed philosophical “You can’t win a fight with a skunk – even if you kill it, at the least you’ll be stinky”. Wisdom? To be sure. Maybe one day I’ll learn to stay away from the no-win fights in my life.

I’m watching the Grammys tonight and one thought repeatedly tore through me – these are the most popular communicators of our times and not one of them can spontaneously compose a coherent sentence… I find myself looking forward to Norah Jones following up her big success tonight… It’s nice to see bad dancing, vacuous stares and tattoos don’t always make a winner… … John Mayer will catch up to the moment, but will we still be around to care… Simon & Garfunkel will make a wad of money if they take their act on the road again… In real life, the belly buttons don’t look this good… or get this much play… RIP Joe Strummer… The theme from Six Feet Under won 2 Grammys… Jimmy Sturr won for best Polka album… Why.

Sports – If you don’t know anything about golf, you will unfortunately have no idea of how incredible Tiger’s second shot on 15 was today… God help all of us if them good ‘ol boys ever found out how to hang a left. 185 in an Oldsmobile? Next thing you know one of these guys will try to run a small country…

I hate dealing with crazy people. It’s true. Crazy people are playing with a built in advantage and it’s just not fair.

I guess my problem is that I don't necessarily agree that The POTUS needs to clear it with Bonnie Raitt before he goes to war... I like her music and all but she might not be up on her international intelligence updates from the Secretary of State. If she could just focus on one thing for a minute, Alexis Dinno might be interesting… You know, I might get out and protest something if real hippies looked like Dharma (Jenna Elfman)... Just looking at the rally makes me wonder if there is a business to be had as a roving deodorant vendor... 50 protestors are in SF County Jail tonight... a protestor on TV declaring poice violence and that he was knocked down but I don't know if I can I take the guy seriously - can anyone with that many visible piercings really have a problem with a little pain?

I flipped to 60 minutes tonight just in time to hear Andy Rooney's commentary.

I don't always agree with him but ever since I found out Andy is an amateur woodworker I have given him greater latitude (I’ll get into that later). His comments illustrate a difference between his generation and mine. They went to war and saved the world. We still send soldiers (and tax dollars) around the world. But now we do it as a preventative (half)measure.

Approval from the French? It’s never going to happen. They have too much money riding on Saddam. If we have proof there is a risk, let’s layout the case and move forward. Andy’s right – the French (or anyone else) are not going to step up and settle international disputes. Sooner or later they would have to put up or shut up and they don’t have the muscle. We do, and that’s why it’s our call.

I was lucky enough to be invited to the Pebble Beach Pro/Am golf tournament on Giovanna's 8th birthday. Lucky because she loves to play golf (go figure) and because this turned out to be a perfect day.

As the tournament was ending, we took a walk down the 18th fairway and I was able to get a few pictures of her.

This picture defines my job as a parent. I see Giovanna as a brave, smart little girl facing a very big world that holds beauty, promise and danger.

If you haven't gone to The Straight Dope website yet - here is the best reason yet.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/index.html
Wait for the whole thing to load and check out the links at the bottom of the page.

The world is too ________ (fill in the blank).

Disclaimer: I claim absolutely no level of knowledge or skill in dealing with the opposite sex, or people in general. Read at your own risk and remember that only you can prevent forest fires - and your significant other walking out on you...


I went to the 24 Hour Fitness web site and read that I have to get to 170 pounds to not be considered "overweight" - heartless bastards! I have dropped from 230 to 200 and now I find out I need to get to 170 just to be borderline "overweight". Unfortunately I know there is some truth to this as I have independent medical verification. One way to deal with having high triglycerides is one of the many high protein, low carb diets. I've been on one for almost a year and it's one of those things I'll probably be sticking with for quite some time. A side effect of this whole thing is I have a greater understanding of how a woman thinks. Stand back sports fans, I'm about to share something with you... Yesterday, I scarfed a huge piece of cheese cake for lunch. Not exactly on the diet, but pretty damn good. I saw it in the fridge over the last couple of days and at first, ignored it, then the little bastard got into my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to have a slice of the creamy goodness that is cheese cake. So, when no one was around, I dove in and started to chow on it. About a third of the way through this sinful exercise I realized what I was doing was horribly, horribly wrong... about two thirds through it, I told myself to stop... when I was one bite away from the finish, the guilt descended on me like the plague... This had never happened to me before - guilty about eating? who'd a thunk it? Well, as I was washing all the evidence and putting it in the dishwasher, I realized that this is cheating... well, what passes for cheating for people on a diet... So guys, I'm here to tell ya - when you get caught with that other woman, you can just skip the flowers - it'll do no good. If you want any chance at all, you had better have some pictures of your significant other going to town on a big chunk of sugary delight.

Three things that made me happier today.
The look on Ozzy's face when his kids turn into the Osmonds in that Pepsi commercial (the rest of hte commercial sucks)... A big fat slice of cheese cake for lunch... My new replacement copy of Kind of Blue.

If it isn't something, it's always something else...

You know how you don't remember everything from your childhood. One of the things I don't remember is what led up to it, but one day my dad packed up me and my brother and drove us to the middle of nowhere. Somewhere in the desert, we pulled into roped off a dirt area filled with all kinds of crazies who came in everything from dirt bikes to mobile homes. We were there all morning, just hanging out and bored stupid - then all of a sudden helicopters are flying back and forth about 10 feet in the air with big machine guns pointed at us. We knew this was the real thing - we had come to see the shuttle land.

Two booms... everyone straining to the sky... someone saw if first... a few "there it is"... then silence... it didn't quite fly, more like it fell out of the sky at a horizontal angle... Three huge parachutes appear from the rear end and then we hear the sounds of a space ship hitting the planet... it turns left and rolls out of view... and just like that, it was over.

Dad had to see it and knew it was something we needed to see as well. It was truly awesome.

Mom had a specific skill with computers and spent a lot of time working for Aerospace companies, Rockwell, Northrop, and Hughes were some that I remember. One time we went to an open house at one of them and got to walk inside one of the booster rockets for the shuttle. The thing was huge. If you wonder why stuff for the space program costs so much it comes down to one word - big. Everything was huge.

So, what was promising to be a lousy Saturday due to a hangover, trip to the dump, the cleaners, and grocery store took a hard left from lousy to downright shitty.

I'm one of those guys who is always bitching and moaning about how the government misspends the small fortune they take in taxes. I'm also one of the Americans who take an inordinate amount of pride in the space program. Even when we are running in the red, as a country, we have decided that it's worth it to spend the resources to push the envelope. Today, we pay a more real price. When the shuttle disintegrated over three states this morning, we lost the lives of seven excellent people. We also were reminded that pursuit of our Manifest Destiny has always come at a hefty price.