Satire, it's the new black.

Monday, January 31, 2005

TV land

I've been gimping around for several days now and can honestly say that this whole broken leg thing sucks. Sure, it's nice to have my parents move in and help out around the house while I'm down, but there isn't much else to be happy about. My pain medication makes me woozy and it's hard to concentrate for long periods of time so I've been using that great crutch of the short of attention. I've been watching more than my fair share of TV. Unfortunately, I've all but exausted my TIVO, and now I'm working on the On Demand feature of my local cable company. I've started watching Carnivale (which at this point makes no sense at all), if it gets to the point where I'm watching Unscripted I'm going to get drastic and start reading.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Racing

I went to a racing school last weekend and to anyone who thinks they
would be slightly interested in it, I would recommend it. We were able
to ride in some older Formula race cars and get instruction from some
experienced and very knowledgeable instructors. It was a driving
experience that makes everything else fade by comparison.

The level of safety combined with the classroom sessions and the hours
spent practicing the acceleration, braking, and turning of the cars
gave me a good level of confidence so that when the second half of the
day leads to on track racing I was ready to go. The second half is
when everything we learned gets put into use and we take some hot laps
on the Infineon Raceway Course.

This experience was awesome. The car grips the pavement as I snick
through the gears – without using a clutch – through to 4th where a
large turn one leads uphill and into a downshift to second... a
recounting of the physical requirements for navigating the course would
not do the experience justice, so I'll refrain from going any further.
However, when on the track, each of these movements are crucial and
doing them incorrectly can lead to tragedy.

I had one of those tragedies towards the end of the day as I was trying
to push myself a little harder than I should have. Coming into turn
three, I was a little wide and the back end got loose. I tried to
catch it, but was too heavy handed on the recovery and spun into the
wall.

There isn't a speedometer in the car, but my guess of hitting the wall
at about 90 is as good as anyone's. It happens quickly. Unlike in a
movie, in a real crash, there isn't a slow-mo anything – one second you
are off line and the next you are wondering if you have the wind
knocked out of you or if you have broken all of your ribs, or if you
are dead.

I was sitting in the car, looking at the damaged pieces and feeling my
sore shin. Amazingly, at that moment, of all my injuries, I focused on
a sore shin. The instructors came up and looked at me and removed the
body pieces to see the leg and asked if I had broken anything (I'm 36
and have never had a broken bone so I don't really know what a broken
bone feels like) I answer "no." I get out of the car and notice that
my knee is also beginning to feel a little tight. I limp to the
emergency vehicle and watch the last few laps of the day.

I'm in some pain, but mostly curious to know what happened and how to
not lose the back end the next time. After about 5 minutes of this,
I'm in more pain and determine that I need to get to a hospital. I
drive myself home in increasing pain and practice all the clutchless
driving I could. Luckily, I got all the way to my neighborhood without
having to shift with the clutch. When the time came, I couldn't move
my leg, so I had to grab my pants by the knee and move my leg over the
clutch to push it.

I tried (unsuccesfully) to get into the house when I got home. The
pain was too much. I waited halfway up the stairs for my wife to come
home. At that moment, I noted that I left my house key in the car and
counted myself lucky that I didn't get all the way upstairs only to
find out that I needed to go down to get my keys.

Barb took me to the hospital and the next thing I know, I'm in surgery
for a tibular plateau fracture. The doctor puts a plate and 4 screws
in to hold my knee together and it hurts like hell. Three days later,
I'm at home and in a wheelchair with a big bottle of Norco (which is a
pain reliever that makes me sleepy). I no longer get the IV pain
killer that has no side effects and works instantly. I've noticed
several bruises all over my body including one that is over a foot long
on my torso. They are all now painful.

I'm layed up until at least next Wednesday, in pain and in a narcotic
fog, and I still say that was a great day racing. Can't wait to do it
again!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

New Toy

I picked up my new toy this weekend, a Ducati Monster 750. These bikes
are not for the feint of heart (which ones are?) with their growling
exhaust and exposed frame they are unmistakably Italian. Built as much
through lust as engineering, it is a red, dynamic and visceral machine.
I think I'm going to enjoy it very much. The guy I bought it from had
nicknamed it Duche after the dictator. I had to let him know that my
Maltese heritage would mean that I re-christen her. Being an educated
and travelled man, he knew instantly why, and his understanding
softened the blow. There will be a new name, but I need to be wary. A
rose by any other name is just as sweet and will hurt just as much if
not careful when handling.

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